Wednesday, August 30, 2017

This baby journey: Part 1

Y'all, what a wild ride... And this little human isn't even here yet.
I just think this is all so amazing and fascinating.

I'm making my sweet (poor husband) take photos of me every few weeks. I do love seeing him learn photography more! I'm not sure he loves it as well and he keeps pointing the camera at our dog instead.

Here is 10 weeks - 12 weeks - 14 weeks. 

The Backstory...
I really had prepared myself for the potential of challenge/infertility. I've always been told I might have endometriosis and many doctors scared me with what that "could mean" for children. The closer we got to the the idea of starting a family, the more I hoped this wouldn't be true. And I feel like the the older you get, the more aware you become of infertility, risks, miscarriage and more.

Long story short.. it didn't take long, at all. And I was shocked.
I really couldn't fathom reading "pregnant" on the first test I took. I paced around our tiny little apartment not really sure how to take it in. I felt shock and gratitude. It didn't really make sense but I was grateful.

I bought a sweet little baby jumper to give Charles as a way to inform him. I planned on giving it to him after work but he came home late and 15 of our young adults were about to arrive. Those 7 hours felt like forever and we finally got some time alone at 11pm. He was so sweet and I was very much still in shock.

Life changing with the news of a kiddo hit quickly. It wasn't our plan to be pregnant before our trip to Ecuador/Chile with our church and I was heavily advised not to go to Ecuador due to Zika. We had so many things to learn and decisions to make. All while trying to keep this news tight while we processed.

We lied a little bit about why (gosh, you have to lie a lot when you are first pregnant) and skipped Ecuador but I got to meet the team in Chile. That week without Charles while he was in Ecuador was rough. Life had so much new and I was so bummed to be separated from him and traveling alone. But I survived!

Pregnancy so far:
I wasn't sick (also so thankful) but extremely tired. Sheesh, it is hard to be so exhausted and act normal while the news isn't out.
Also, I am a pretty open person so having this HUGE news that I wasn't telling many people was so hard. Act normal, don't talk about how tired you are, don't be obvious about not drinking or eating sushi, keep up, don't get too emotional. Phew, that was a tough phase. It's pretty much 2 months of living a double life! No one told me how weird that part was.
But 8 weeks in (about 4 weeks of knowing we were expecting) we got to see our little babe had a heart beat. This made it feel so real, especially for Charles.
The journey from 8 to 13 weeks felt like forever. Weeks of wondering what was happening and how our little one was doing. But then, we saw him or her on the screen. This little one went from a fuzz ball on to a baby with a face and limbs and movement. Wow, so overwhelming. Again, so grateful.

Then, we spent about a week telling as many of the people around us as we could. It was so meaningful to have these conversations and to share in the hugs, tears, celebrations and prayers.

This kid is so loved already. We are honored by all the support we've received.
This is quite the journey! 

Sidenote: My heart is heavy for the many who don't have this story and long for a little. That makes me struggle to share the words above. So much of my journey resonates with challenge, difficulty and hurt. I really hope my words about this journey do not add to any pain and am saying a prayer for the many in waiting. We don't know the journey ahead of us but I certainly wish hope for you. And while our journeys may be different, I am familiar with challenging times and am absolutely an ear and friend if you need one. 

To be continued... (don't worry, I won't make you see every week of bump photos). 

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