Getting used to the weird.

I am (mostly) getting used to the idea of being a "Small Business Owner" or "Entrepreneur" (yes, I had to use spell check to correct it). But it is weird.
Weird because everyone is an Entrepreneur now.
Weird because I've always been a full time employee with benefits.
Weird because there is no guarantee of how this will pan out.
Weird because "What do people think of me/my business?"
Weird because it is hard to put concise words to the vision I have for my business.
Weird because I am my boss.
Weird because I'm trying to find the line between, "Oh, that is a good way to do things" and "I don't want to do things like that at all".
Weird because I have to take money from people (which I haaaate).
Weird because: taxes.

Why am I saying all this? A few reasons..

One: I know that however this pans out, I'll want to look back on this phase.
 Two: I think we often see people's perspective as they look back on the awkward beginning phase from a polished place and maybe it is encouraging for someone to read about it in the current, when they polished phase hasn't arrived or isn't guaranteed.

Have you ever read/heard someone's story and thought "Well sure, look how well it turned out for you. Easy for you to say!"? Me neither (all the time).

So, if you're in the weird place.. I am with you. 

I am up and down.
I have days that I want to conquer it all and days that I doubt it any of is worth it.
I have days that I am pumped to stay in sweats and days I feel lost in my living room.
My husband looks at me like I am crazy when I unload my up and down (rightly so, I kind of am).

What I do know is:
Living a life with open hands to honor God with whatever I do/who I am, placing my family above my "calling" and knowing where my identity really lies is the crucial stuff. And I definitely need reminded... a lot.

You feel me?

To be continued..

 Thanks for the great images Tay Joy Photography