Tuesday, January 19, 2016

What you think vs. How I feel.

Alright, it is officially late January and I've yet to blog in 2016. I'm going to sit down and roll with something that has been floating around the back of my mind.

I had this awesome light peachy/orange pullover sweatshirt that had california written in light blue cursive. It was from goodwill and so cozy and cool. I loved it. Until someone I worked with told me it was the ugliest (insert F word) sweatshirt he has seen. I put it away and didn't wear it for years until I realized I loved it and didn't care what he said!
Have you ever had that happen with a favorite item in your closet?
Have you ever felt called to something (say a career, a new hobby, going back to school) until someone tells you it wont work or isn't a good idea?
Have you ever wanted something but could only feel good about going for it if someone affirms the notion?
Have you ever been stoked on the used car you just bought until your friend gets a brand new one?

Big or small, maybe you've felt it.
Peer pressure - fear - insecurity - doubt. Call it what you want. It is out there.

I think of overalls. Seriously, I was wearing them in my High School Senior ID photo. They really weren't cool even anymore. But I guess I didn't care. But they are back (I guess) or were or something. And at first everyone is like "Gross, overalls, no way." Until someone really cool wear them, looks great and gets a bunch of positive feedback. And then opinions change. And all of sudden they are mainstream, again.

That is the power of influence.

I have gone through seasons of really not caring about what people think and then the opposite as well. I have prided myself on doing my own thing and not worrying about others. But deep down there is a twinge of concern about what others think. And in my life right now I think there is more than I'd like there to be.

I'd feel better if I could answer people with "I do ______ full time" or "I'm a ________"
instead of, "Well, I am partially ________, picking up _____ again and doing ______."
I'd actually enjoy the balance of my life more if I didn't feel less adequate.
I'd have less thoughts of, "Did I say too much? Was I too bold? Should I have been more_____?"
I'd think less of, "But am I good enough at _______ to really put that passion out there?"
I'd like my naturally curly hair more.

Is the weight of what others think (or culture as a whole) influencing what you do, how you live or how you feel? When you have that moment of pursuing a dream, rocking those new jeans or weighing how you feel, don't let the opinions of others (or how you think they would think) be the deciding factor about how you feel.

Of course we all need wisdom and the accountability from those around us is needed. However...

Be true to where God is calling you.
Be true to where you stand.
Be confident in what you have to offer.
Be content with what He has provided.

This post goes along with some things I have written before (comparison, etc.) but I guess I need to keep learning, and maybe you need to hear it too.

My husband told me he was surprised I bought these pants (since they are a little crazy) because I hate my thighs and don't like drawing attention to them. He has a point. But I wanted something fun to work out in to motivate me. (Bad thigh accentuating angle and all..)

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