Monday, February 1, 2016

When two become four.

It is #MarriageMonday and this topic has been popping up in my mind again and again.

This isn't about finding out your having twins. 

You know when you go to a friend's wedding and before you even get home you get a Facebook notification that "so and so" and "so and so" changed their relationship to "Married"?
And then a picture of them entering their honeymoon suite pops up.
And then a thank you to their parents or people who helped is posted.
And then a picture of their new rings.

I get it. It is ALL so exciting. I love celebrating things big or small. And I love sharing moments through photos.

But I have a great idea. Ready?

1. Take the photos of the cool moments: A selfie in the car, getting to your honeymoon suite, something you can't post on social media, breakfast in bed, etc.

2. Wait.

I know, it is crazy.

What if you just let those moments be moments you shared?

I mean these are what we hope are once in a life time new moments with your new spouse. Maybe the best way to enjoy them is to just soak them up, together. Just you and your spouse. Not 1,114 Facebook friends and 1,500 Instagram followers. Not with affirmation that these moments are special because people comment, "Wow, how special! have fun! xoxo." but maybe because you are present in the moment, debrief these new milestones together and save the audience affirmation for later.

I loved that for our honeymoon we were out the the country and didn't have full use of our phones (although wifi makes it too easy to be connected almost anywhere). We still had to decide that while we might agree to post one photo on our honeymoon (ok maybe two) to share our excitement and journey, we wouldn't check our phone notifications. We moved on. We were present in the moments we were experiencing. I mean this is pretty much the one time everyone leaves you alone and understands that you "check out" of normal life. SOAK - THAT - UP. Cherish each small, new, big, special, funny, exciting, weird moment.

I wish I could say that intentionality continued into our home flawlessly. Sometimes it is there, sometimes it just isn't. I know I need to work on where my attention goes.

If you are getting married soon, can I recommend you make a plan to leave your phone out of your honeymoon?


I understand if you have someone you need to check in with (sometimes family stuff happens or people need us).
But Instagram doesn't need you.
Facebook doesn't need you.
Your BFF doesn't "need" updates from you.

Lets all practice some delayed gratification in this area while we are present in the gratification of what has taken place - Two becoming One. Marriage. Union. Sharing a new space. A first true vacation. Waking up next to your spouse. Whatever it maybe. It is sacred. It is special. And it deserve space. The world will do a great job of denying us margin, presence and significance but we can decide to kick things off on a different, full and rich pace.

Then, share your highlights. Post an update. Welcome the world back in.
You can do it. It'll be worth it.

I loved our honeymoon. But life kicked us in the pants as soon as we got home making me all the more grateful for the presence and newness experienced in those 7 days.

Plus, marriage is such a fresh beginning. Why not kick it off in the best way and allow those intentional choices to bleed into your new life together?

Side note: Aw, I forgot what my man looks like without a beard. He's cute that way, too! 

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