Thursday, January 10, 2019

Show up messy.

Last night my kitchen was pretty clean and tidy (much thanks to my husband and his nightly magic).
By 10:30am today it's not exactly looking so hot. Seriously. This is a glimpse. Our rental grout is not so cute, our cabinets are poorly painted, my dishes are a mess and I've got food in progress for a meal.

This morning's story time at the library led to some hang with a friend who is also now a mama of a 10 month old boy. We haven't seen each other in a long time and don't even know each other that well but we ran into each other and I invited her to come over to hang.

I knew my kitchen (and most of my home) were less than ready for a new visitor but I didn't really think twice. I love people and connecting and in this season that isn't always easy. So while I could have said, "Come over some time" so that I could prepare, I chose to say "Would you like to come over now?" and invite her into the reality. After all both of our babies were napped and fed so now was the time!

Honestly when she left I noticed things that needed attention and wondered if she noticed them too - the coffee grounds on the floor, the diapers that need taken to the trash, the post weekend trip unpacking explosions. She may have. But I think she gets it. We connected over the challenges and rhythms mom life has held for us in the past 10 months and I think we share some of the same struggles to manage it all. But even if she was nailing the tidy game I am not and that's ok. Sometimes my day doesn't allow it. Sometimes I choose to rest or connect with a friend or shower. But most of the time I am going to choose to invite people in and that includes the real. That's how we want our home to be. That's how we want to be as people. Open, welcoming, real. That is how our conversations were today and both of us left refreshed and grateful.

I don't say this to toot my horn at all. But maybe as some encouragement to show up where you are. Show up messy. Show up in progress. Connect with that friend even if you aren't in the best place emotionally. Invite people into your space even if it looks more like hoarders than fixer upper. Show up with your spouse even if wounds leave you guarded. Pitch that business idea to your boss or friend even if the details are up in the air.

I  read a quote on Instagram this week, "Their grass isn't greener, they are just using a filter."
It's easy to assume their kitchen is spotless, their marriage is without conflict, they are confident in their journey, they are patient with their kids... But we have to remember we never see the whole story. Don't let how their lives appear prevent you from living fully in the reality of yours. We all have our in progress areas and community thrives when authenticity matters more than perfection.


No comments: