I'll be legit when _________ (fill in the blank).

Hi, I'm Phylicia.

I am a believer in people.
I am a photographer.
I am a leader.
I am an advocate for the unnoticed.

This isn't about how great I am.
It is actually quite the opposite.

I doubt the above, all the time.

I am hard on myself.
I doubt my voice.
I don't notice my wins and I sit in my shortcomings.
I let fear win.

Today is Real Talk Tuesday and I am preaching to myself, but I hope you are encouraged.

I was listening to a podcast with Jon Acuff yesterday and he shared a conversation he had with his wife in which she called him out. After the release of his 5th book she asked, "Are you willing to call yourself a writer now?" His response was something along the lines of, "I think after 10 books it will be official."

My husband and I have regular conversations about our struggles of feeling inadequate at what we do. We're both hard on ourselves. I was having one of those nights last night. Plenty of things get in my way... Past roles and leadership challenges, insecurities, comparison, fear, new and unknown, possible failure, etc.

My smart husband said, "Success rarely takes what we thought it would and rarely feels like we think it should."
He's right.
We think:
"Once my kids are ___ age and healthy people, I'll feel like a good mom."
"Once I have ___ sales on my Etsy page, I'll really be a maker."
"Once I grow my ministry to ___ people, I'll feel good about it."
"Once I lose ___ more pounds, I'll be happy."
"Once I take pictures like ____, I'll be legit."
"Once I have a home like ____, I'll be content."
"Once my salary is ____, I'll stop striving."
"Once I have ____ followers, I'll be the real deal."
"Once I am recognized for _____, I'll know I'm enough."

What is it for you?

Are you waiting for someone to validate your role, desire, talent, ideas?

Me too.

But maybe some of these tools can help?

• Write down your wins. Big or small, write 'em. A new inquiry for your business, a sweet moment with your defiant kiddo, a feeling of affirmation, a risk you've taken, etc.
• Write down your goals. Big is awesome but I am a fan of real, too. Write some goals down that you can tackle now. 
• Stop looking left & right. Set limits on social media. Reduce the amount of time you spend watching others "win" and live in your wins. I think we all felt better before we watched how "easy" everyone else has it.
• Define your why. Write it down. Come back to it. It is yours so it shouldn't look just like theirs.

I got this!
You've got this!

So, I'd love to hear... What is a win you've experienced this week?