Thursday, October 23, 2014

Slowing down.

I've been doing a lot of reflecting on the pace of life lately. Well, for a while actually. I am making some shifts to navigate space for, well, space. More to come on that.

But anyway. I had a moment of clarity in regards to the pace of my life. Life has been so fast. And so full. And so busy. I wake up at night so tired but my mind can't rest. I get to one place only to be thinking about the next place I need to be. I'm thinking about how my day off should play out: what I should do first, what flow makes the most sense, how to use my time. What can I multitask? Who did I forget to text back? Can I rest now? Should I be working out? 

All that to say, I'm looking to save time, prioritize, get things done. I can't say everyone should slow down or that there is anyone to blame for my pace/pressure to move faster. But I feel it. And I'm going to get back to balance and presence in my marriage, relationships, surroundings..

So, confession time: I promise this won't get too detailed but I realized the other day that when I go to the restroom at work I start unzipping my pants before I get into the stall. Why? Just because I am in a hurry. Just because it saves a few seconds. Just because I can't slow down. 

What the heck? That's lame. What am I doing? 
Reality check.

I was already working towards rest but this moment of awareness was timely. It's a small thing but a total reflection of just how fast I'm moving. 

So yesterday, after some restless sleep and waking up at 5:30am, I eventually gave in and got out of bed. I took an hour to just make coffee, enjoy a waffle and watched morning light fill my living room. I spent a few moments in God's word and mostly moments just sitting. I watched our corner chair change as the sun appeared.  And then I did some cleaning as I got ready. I mean, I had a few minutes to take advantage of. Yup, still in the evaluating and tweaking mode. I am not sure where the balance is between rest and productivity. Time with others and alone time. When to say yes and when to say no. But I'm paying attention and making some adjustments. Slowing down and making space.

So, how's your pace?  What does rest look like for you? Are you getting enough?

"Where ever you are, be all there."

That's what I am working on.

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